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Here's some redneck Jokes
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2.
From: Lethal13
You might be a Redneck if you go into a bar, order a shot of southern comfort, and the bartender hands you a picture of your sister!!!
From: Davedeboy
You might be a redneck if when your pen runs out of ink you spit on it and call it dandy.
From: A3APA3A
You might be a redneck if you miss an exit on the highway because there's a beer can stuck under your gas pedal.
Redneck Christmas
From: Cooters94
You might be a redneck if you have more fish on your wall than pictures.
You might be a redneck if you love beer more than your wife.
You might be a redneck if you shoot a duck and your dog brings back a beer.
You might be a redneck if your best friend is your gun.
You might be a redneck if your wife would rather fish off a bridge than go shopping.
You might be a redneck if you have to travel 100 miles to go food shopping.
From: VM5k
You might be a redneck if you slow dance at Denny's.
From: GreenE524
You know you're a redneck if all your furniture has become antiques since you bought it.
From: KAYDOGG14
You might be a redneck if you gavorite channel on TV is the preview channel.
From: Turretmech
You might be a redneck if your idea of a perfect first date with a lady is a six-pack and going four-wheeling.
You might be a redneck if you have a sliding window in the back of your truck so you can throw beer cans in the back as you drive.
From: PLAYERor69
You know you're a redneck if your dream job is to be in charge of fertilizer sales at Wal Mart.
You know you're a redneck when more than half the kids on your property live in the shed.
Redneck Computer Glossary
Redneck Drivers License Application
From: Pipes 01
If a major home renovation is a new set of tires, you are definately a redneck!
From: GPGPII
You might be a redneck if your couch used to be the back seat of your mini van.
From: LupinThief
You know you're a redneck if when someone asks you for identification, you show them your belt buckle.
From: CCConant1
You know your a redneck if you go to a family members birthday party and yell "bring on the sausage and beans"
Your a Redneck if you Jump up and down in a large crowd shouting "SNAKE."
You could be a redneck if you enjoy dancing "THE CHICKEN" in the middle of a highway.
Your a Redneck if you can't help pressing the garage door button and watching the door go up and down right before your eyes.
You could be a Redneck if you have shoes that can talk.
From: Xander50
You might be a redneck if you owe the taxidermist more than your anual income.
You might be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
You might be a redneck if your underwear doubles as your bathingsuit.
You might be a redneck if you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth.
You might be a redneck if you've ever had hot flashes at a cattle auction.
You might be a redneck if you wear a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if you think a bug zapper and a six pack is quality entertainment.
You might be a redneck if you have to re-crank your car at every intersection.
You might be a redneck if you think the nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
From: Heavnsent2
You know you're a redneck when your new TV set sits on top of your old TV.
From: SOCCER 468
You know you're a redneck when you ask for a divorce and your wife says, "At least we will still be cousins."
From: Axl24
You might be a redneck if you name your children after cars.
From: Kittystang
You know you're a redneck if your mailbox is made out of old car parts.
From: LeftEye99
You might be a redneck if the most said phrase in your house is "someone go jiggle the handle!"
You might be a redneck if you've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws!
You might be a redneck if you own a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren't!
You might be a redneck if your lawn furtinure used to be your living room furntiture!
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can properly execute the sleep hold!
You might be a redneck if your underwear doubles as your bathing suit!
You might be a redneck if you own a waffle house credit card!
You might be a redneck if you refer to your wife and your mother-in-law as dual air bags!
From: BRATT4BEN
If the highlight of your Christmas day is visiting relatives at the state prison, you might be a redneck.
If your mother can spit farther than a rodeo cowboy, you might be a redneck.
If your idea of true love involves spray painting someones name on a freeway overpass you might be a redneck.
From: Lunar Tard
You might be a redneck if your wife's hairdo can be destroyed by a ceiling fan.
From: UniqueTazZ
You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
You might be a redneck if you wet the bed and four other people immediately know it.
You might be a redneck if you come back from the dump with more than you took to it.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube-top to a wedding.
You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap.
You might be a redneck if your belt buckle is bigger than your head.
You might be a redneck if people hunt in your front yard.
You might be a redneck if your muffler is held on by a coat hanger.
You might be a redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips.
You might be a redneck if you've ever shot someone over a mall parking space.
From: TIGGLET98
You know you're a redneck when your favorite cap says "babymaker" on it.
From: CrshNBrnin
If your first name is the last name of a president and you were not born when they were in office, you might be a redneck.
From: CCConant1
You're a real redneck if you have four pets in the same cage and one of them is half eaten.
From: ONTARGETRI
You know you are a redneck if your favorite pick-up line is "Hey, nice tooth!"
You might lose your redneck status if you have the bathroom carpeted and then decide to have the carpet run all the way into the house!
From: Bouges22
You know you're a redneck if your neck is red!
From: RPCHAVEZ
You know you're a redneck when you tell your grandpa he has something in his teeth, and he takes them out to see.
From: Eben19
You know you're a redneck if you think Hooked on Phonics is a fishing show.
From: RPompeo106
You might be a redneck if your family tree has no branches.
From: Da brat019
You know you're a redneck when your mother comes out of the bathroom and yells, ''Hey ya'll, come look at this before I flush it.''
From: MLI14
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom in the middle of the night requires a flashlight and a pair of shoes.
From: A mr jones
You might be a redneck if you go to family reunions to meet women.
You might be a redneck if in the discussion of great catfish fishermen granny's name comes up.
If you refer to eight grade as "Your Senior Year."
From: TOY 151
You know you're a redneck when you go to your family reunion to find a date.
From: ANZAPP
Q: What is a redneck's idea of a seven course meal? A: A six-pack and a hot dog.
From: LSLEWIS223
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ammo on her Christmas tree.
You might be a redneck if he neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
You might be a redneck if your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during the Christmas dinner.
You might be a redneck if you sit on your roof Christmas Eve with a shotgun hoping to fill you deer quota for the year.
From: ZIAH 5082
You know you're a redneck if your mother and your father are brothers.
You know your a redneck if you have more food in your teeth than in your trailer.
You know you're a redneck if you & your three sisters all have one name in common: Bobby Sue... Billy Sue...Billy jo... Bobby jo.
From: BIGBASH1
You might be a redneck if you see a sing that says, "Say no to crack," and it reminds you to pull up your jeans.
From: Daniell794
You might be a redneck if the only woman in your life is your mother.
From: AMind89641
You know you're a redneck if you think "harrass" is two words.
From: ALNORTKITT
You know you're a redneck if people stop by your house and think you're having a yard sale.
You know you're a redneck if you mow your lawn and find a truck.
You know you're a redneck if you take dates to see the rodeo.
You know you're a redneck if you toast the new bride and groom with "Milwaukee's Best" beer.
From: Skier012
You might be a redneck if use use the stop sign across the street as a sight on your new rifle.
From: HeidiB1123
You might be a redneck if the directions to your house include "turn off the paved road.
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